I'd Like to Take a Moment And Talk About My Penis

Before we begin and you come with me on this journey I would like to pose a question.  Would it have made you more or less uncomfortable if I said that I wanted to talk about Jesus Christ?  So lets begin with my penis; there's nothing really special about it.  I can't do push-ups with it like Jack Black, it doesn't ward off Bruce Willis like some rune encrusted divining rod that only leads you to old lady snatch like Ashton Kutcher, and then there's Brett Favre.  Brett Favre sent pictures of his penis from many different angles to a woman to try to impress her.  Brett Favre is a football legend so you would expect his penis to be able to crawl over, take the picture and still be standing next to Favre in the picture (they're the same height in this scenario).  Instead what the poor, frightened woman received was a picture of Mr. Magoo peeking out from a thick tuft of bushes.  Thankfully for everyone in the world, I have never sent a nude pic to anyone.  Though once as a dumb teenager while chatting with a girl online and exchanging pictures I did offer.  I am very grateful that she declined...  Actually she didn't just decline the offer it got to the point where she was saying "FOR GOD'S SAKE NO DON'T SEND ME A PICTURE OF YOUR DICK!!!"